A Feng Shui Journey to Self-Acceptance 

I recently read a post on Facebook that said that the way parents talk to their children becomes their "inner talk." I agree with this statement.

It has taken me many years of healing therapies to learn to talk to myself in a way that is loving and nourishing -- unlike the way my parents talked to me or about me.

My father was constantly ashamed of me. In his own words, he was ashamed to learn he had had a daughter (not man enough to produce a second son instead), he was ashamed to see that my skin was olive and not the rosy pink of my brother's, and he was ashamed months later when the dark baby hair fell off and was replaced by brown hair -- instead of blonde.

As I grew up, he was ashamed that I was not athletic, and he was ashamed that I got good grades. He was mortified that I was not skinny, and embarrassed because I was shy. My good grades, he said, made my brother look bad, and made him fear that I would never find a husband. 

As I grew older he found more reasons to feel shame, like the acne on my face, or the slightly downwards turn of the corners of my mouth that revealed the native South American ancestry he would have liked to deny.

When I was offered the equivalence of a valedictorian he tried to make me refuse it. He was glaringly absent from my graduation from high school, and didn't even bother to get out of bed the day I graduated as an Architect.

Nothing I did could get good feedback from him. For example, when I was 24, the first short story I wrote won the third prize on a national short story contest, which came with a considerable cash prize. Instead of feeling pride, he felt deep embarrassment over one sentence in the story which he declared as "suggestive."

Throughout my life, I felt like my father had pre-decided to disapprove of me and anything I did. It was almost as if he had decided to dislike me the day he learned of my conception, and from then on stayed true to his purpose. My mother just went along with anything he said.

I don't know what would have become of me if I hadn't also had a grandmother and aunt who did the exact opposite. They adored me and approved of anything I said or did. I was the spark in their lives and I know for a fact that they pre-decided to love me and approve of me on the very day they learned of my existence in the womb. Being a girl was an added bonus for them, since they already had a grandson/nephew, my gender only completed their happiness. I was always sure to be welcomed at their place, never denied a hug, constantly told how wonderful I was and how much they loved me. When a friend who had known me for years met them, she told me, "Now I understand why you turned out so well. God may take something away with one hand, while giving to you with the other hand."

However, it is not the voices of grandparents or aunts and uncles that become our inner voice, but the voice of our parents. I have done a lot of work over these issues over time. Now I am ready to make a quantum leap in my self-acceptance. Will you make one as well?

How does the voice of your parents' criticism show up in your daily life?

How can you create a new script for your inner talk? One that is healthy and rooted on that immeasurable self-worth that comes to you from the simple fact of being a spiritual being?

These are the questions we explore in the Feng Shui Journey for Self Acceptance. To come with me and other like-minded people on this journey, all you have to do is join the Facebook group and commit to making very small changes at home during the next seven weeks. It's free! Click here to go to the Facebook group.